Week 03: Threats to Marriage
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image via: twobestfriendsinlove.com |
The Marriage Question
One of the biggest debates about the institution of marriage
in recent years has been the question of the legality of same-sex
marriage. In the Supreme Court decision on
this issue, handed down in June 2015, the majority opinion included the
following among its arguments:
“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.”1
The argument here being that all couples, regardless of
their gender makeup, have the right to pursue the relationships that help them
to feel less alone and more emotionally and physically secure. I would like to look at this argument for a
moment through the lens of the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Savior's Way
The gospel of Jesus Christ instructs us to love one another
and to show that love through service and fellowship both in and out of the
church as an organized unit of society.
The scriptures teach us to
“…bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.” (Mosiah 18:8-9)2
An essential part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for our
eternal happiness is that we love and serve one another, not just within
marriage and in our own homes, but also in communities, ward families, and in
sincere friendships. He never intended
for us to be alone, in any circumstances.
Most importantly, the Lord Himself has promised to never
leave us alone. Becoming a part of the
family of God means that you will never cry out and find no one there. Our Savior, Jesus Christ suffered all things
– including the heartache and loneliness felt by those who experience same-sex
attraction and who struggle to remain faithful to their commitment to the
gospel. He who knows us better than
anyone will always answer that cry.
Those seeking answers when reconciling same-gender
attraction with their religious beliefs might wonder, “Why would God make me
this way and then punish me for it? If
marriage and children are so important to His plan, why would He create me this
way and then deny me the very thing so, apparently, central to His plan?”
These serious and sincere questions are quite understandable
and deserve serious and sincere consideration.
I had similar questions as I struggled through a 10-year battle with
infertility. I wondered why God would
give me the desire to have children, and deny me the physical ability to bear
them. I wondered why He would give me a
broken, sub-standard, “different from everyone else” body and then make me feel
guilty for not being able do what He has commanded. Why would He create me this way, if it meant
that I couldn’t fulfill His basic commandments?
I couldn’t help the way I was; I couldn’t “fix” it or make
it go away. I still wanted to follow His
path and qualify for the blessings of eternal family, but I really didn’t know
if I would ever experience it in this life.
It was confusing, heartbreaking, and seemingly unending. Ultimately, however, it led me to some of the
greatest discoveries I had yet known about my Savior and His love for me. Looking back, I can say without hesitation
that walking that path was exactly what I, personally, needed to solidify my
faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and to learn to rely fully on the Lord
and His direction for my life. In that
period in my life, I learned the ultimate lesson of faith, and it has become
the foundation of my testimony. Though I
have now been a mother for 10 years, I continue to rely on and to build upon
the lessons I learned during that time of confusion and sorrow.
In the end, we must simply trust that our loving Heavenly
Father, who knows exactly how He has made us, has accounted for all things in
His plan, and knows exactly how He plans to bless us each with what He has
promised. Our part of the plan is to act
in faith and invite peace through the Holy Ghost and through the Savior’s
infinite Atonement. His part is to know
how to help us reach the goals that He has set for us.
As Howard W. Hunter, Prophet and President of the Church,
taught,
“If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. . . . If our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.”3
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image via: kensiekate.com |
No earthy marriage, however happy and personally fulfilled
it might seem to make us in the present, can ever be permanently “right” unless
it is founded upon the Lord’s principles.
In contrast no person’s life, however filled with struggle and sorrow it
may seem, will ever go permanently “wrong” when that person is endeavoring to
follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. One way or another, in the Lord’s time, all
blessings of marriage, family, and eternal life will be granted to those who
are faithful.
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