Week 03: Threats to Marriage

image via: twobestfriendsinlove.com

The Marriage Question


One of the biggest debates about the institution of marriage in recent years has been the question of the legality of same-sex marriage.  In the Supreme Court decision on this issue, handed down in June 2015, the majority opinion included the following among its arguments:

“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.”1

The argument here being that all couples, regardless of their gender makeup, have the right to pursue the relationships that help them to feel less alone and more emotionally and physically secure.  I would like to look at this argument for a moment through the lens of the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Savior's Way


The gospel of Jesus Christ instructs us to love one another and to show that love through service and fellowship both in and out of the church as an organized unit of society.  The scriptures teach us to

“…bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.” (Mosiah 18:8-9)2

An essential part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for our eternal happiness is that we love and serve one another, not just within marriage and in our own homes, but also in communities, ward families, and in sincere friendships.  He never intended for us to be alone, in any circumstances.

Most importantly, the Lord Himself has promised to never leave us alone.  Becoming a part of the family of God means that you will never cry out and find no one there.  Our Savior, Jesus Christ suffered all things – including the heartache and loneliness felt by those who experience same-sex attraction and who struggle to remain faithful to their commitment to the gospel.  He who knows us better than anyone will always answer that cry.

Those seeking answers when reconciling same-gender attraction with their religious beliefs might wonder, “Why would God make me this way and then punish me for it?  If marriage and children are so important to His plan, why would He create me this way and then deny me the very thing so, apparently, central to His plan?” 

These serious and sincere questions are quite understandable and deserve serious and sincere consideration.  I had similar questions as I struggled through a 10-year battle with infertility.  I wondered why God would give me the desire to have children, and deny me the physical ability to bear them.  I wondered why He would give me a broken, sub-standard, “different from everyone else” body and then make me feel guilty for not being able do what He has commanded.  Why would He create me this way, if it meant that I couldn’t fulfill His basic commandments?

I couldn’t help the way I was; I couldn’t “fix” it or make it go away.  I still wanted to follow His path and qualify for the blessings of eternal family, but I really didn’t know if I would ever experience it in this life.  It was confusing, heartbreaking, and seemingly unending.  Ultimately, however, it led me to some of the greatest discoveries I had yet known about my Savior and His love for me.  Looking back, I can say without hesitation that walking that path was exactly what I, personally, needed to solidify my faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and to learn to rely fully on the Lord and His direction for my life.  In that period in my life, I learned the ultimate lesson of faith, and it has become the foundation of my testimony.  Though I have now been a mother for 10 years, I continue to rely on and to build upon the lessons I learned during that time of confusion and sorrow.

In the end, we must simply trust that our loving Heavenly Father, who knows exactly how He has made us, has accounted for all things in His plan, and knows exactly how He plans to bless us each with what He has promised.  Our part of the plan is to act in faith and invite peace through the Holy Ghost and through the Savior’s infinite Atonement.  His part is to know how to help us reach the goals that He has set for us.

As Howard W. Hunter, Prophet and President of the Church, taught,

“If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. . . . If our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.”3

image via: kensiekate.com

No earthy marriage, however happy and personally fulfilled it might seem to make us in the present, can ever be permanently “right” unless it is founded upon the Lord’s principles.  In contrast no person’s life, however filled with struggle and sorrow it may seem, will ever go permanently “wrong” when that person is endeavoring to follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  One way or another, in the Lord’s time, all blessings of marriage, family, and eternal life will be granted to those who are faithful. 

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