W04: Doctrine of Eternal Marriage
The Importance of Marriage
When we discuss the importance of marriage, it is critical
to understand that our Heavenly Father is real, that He loves us, and that He
has a plan for our lasting happiness. A
focal point of this plan is that we live together, work together, and are exalted
together in families to the highest kingdom our Heavenly Father has prepared
for us. In this light, it becomes even
more important to build strong marriages and provide a solid foundation for our
families, since the choices we make in this life will have far-reaching,
eternal consequences. We need to ask
ourselves if our marriage (or future marriage) will be a contractual one, or a
covenant one.
Contractual vs. Covenant Marriages
Elder Bruce C. Hafen, of the First Quorum of the Seventy, taught,
“When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.”1
The high divorce rate in this country has been analyzed and
the consequences of divorce have been studied by professionals for many
years. We know that divorce is harmful
to our children, to our spouses and to ourselves, leaving mental, emotional,
financial and social problems in its wake.
So why is it such a common occurrence?
One reason is that we have gradually become a society that
focuses on the needs of the “self” rather than one that focuses on family or
community. In generations past, our grandparents
and great-grandparents would have seen their commitment to their family and
their community as one of their most important duties. Now we seem to view marriage as a disposable
commodity; one that we only value if it seems to add to our personal happiness,
and which can be discarded if we find unexpected hardships or challenges.
The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us that marriage and
family are not just important, they are essential to our long-term
happiness. The Lord knows His plan for
us and has established the pattern of covenant marriages and families to help
us best achieve the goal of eternal happiness that He has in store for us. Although we cannot always predict the
challenges that will come our way in life, we can rest assured that if we build
our marriages on faith, respect and covenant-keeping, we will be able to rise
above the trials of life. A husband and
wife, both working together as equal partners to build a strong foundation for
their family, will have less reason to fear.
A Foundation of Faith
What are some ways that we can build this foundation of
faith within our marriages? One key
principle is to invite the Savior into our homes and into our relationships to
help fortify and strengthen us beyond our ability to do so on our own. Elder David A. Bednar, of the Quorum of the
Twelve Apostles, taught,
“The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship. Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner. Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and steadily “come unto Christ” and strive to be “perfected in Him” (Moro. 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and the woman come closer together.”2
There is a popular children’s hymn that teaches that “the
wise man built his house upon the rock.”
If we want our marriages to survive the winds and storms of life, we
must build them on the rock of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ. We must strive to come closer to Him, as we
grow closer to one another. We must seek
to emulate Him and to incorporate Christlike attributes into our own lives and
hearts so that we can be forgiving, charitable, loving and selfless toward one
another as He is to us. And we must
remember that the things in this life that are truly valuable will endure with
us into eternity. For this to happen, we
must build covenant marriages that will last.
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